Do guys really want multiple girlfriends?
Is there something that propels them?
Is it to have a variety of love in different bodies with a lot of faces to it?
Does variety spice up things in the love section?
Because it’s almost as if having one woman’s love isn’t enough anymore.
Some guys call it “freedom.”
Others say they “don’t like being tied down.”
A few even hide behind biology, claiming men are “naturally polygamous.”
I’ve come to see that this desire for multiple girlfriends rarely has to do with love.
It’s usually about something more.
Why Do Guys Want Multiple Girlfriends?
1. The Ego Factor:
So many things are to be blamed here…
If that is not the case, I wonder why a man will derive so much pleasure and joy in collecting women like trophies.
Some men collect women like trophies, not partners.
It makes them have this faux belief in the fact that the women actually desire them, and this is the fuel that pumps them.
The more women they can successfully woo and get to date, the higher they get on their imaginary levels.
The funny part of it is that the level never lasts.
Once they start to feel comfortable and familiar with the latest woman, they start looking for a new woman to fan their ego flames.
Every new woman in their life helps to maintain their ego, and not necessarily build a connection.
2. The Fear of Emotional Dependence
There is a thing called fear of dependence.
This comes from the fear of being vulnerable and predictable.
And in a bid to mitigate this, you find some men putting different parts of their lives in different women.
Let us call it two-factor authentication.
In a bid not to give too much emotional power to a woman, they share “risks” to avoid being burnt.
They do not want to be so dependent on a woman whom they believe will weaponize their dependence against them.
If one relationship fails, they can fall into another without ever touching the ground of loneliness before going in to add more.
This is their own form of emotional insurance.
3. The Thrill of the Chase
Let’s call it what it is: dopamine.
When I get to do something new and I start to get results, I get so excited and I feel a particular kind of high.
That feeling is what makes me repeat the exercise over and over again, because results can be genuinely intoxicating.
That repetition is what makes it a system, and that way, it is almost an addiction that never ends.
I think it is the same with men who chase women and eventually get them.
The thrill of the chase makes them feel so excited that they want to do it over and over again.
That novelty feels like it for a few moments for them all the time.
The addiction to the beginnings can also make it easy for them in a way….
It’s all about trying to win someone new over, and it doesn’t require deep commitment, accountability, consistency, and dedication.
It is more of the cheesy starts like date nights, getting to know each other’s hobbies, and building activities around those.
These acts make the whole chase enjoyable, and with him definitely being a playboy, it will be a thriller.
For him, that rush of being chosen because of the butterflies in a new woman’s stomach is what keeps him in the chase.
4. The Cultural Influence
We can’t ignore how culture plays its part in this whole scheme.
From movies to music, the “player” is often glorified.
He is an alpha male who is confident, carefree, desirable, and coveted by all.
Somehow, this narrative is engraved and ingrained in the minds of men and even women.
They believe the man is a prize to be won and women should pay the price for it.
They even justify it that the bible says a man will have seven women at some point.
Some justify this by calling themselves the master key that can open up any door.
The narrative goes on and on.
The fact that society has embellished it to mean that “more” equals “better, gives men an edge to have more women.
They already grew into hearing that having multiple women means you’re successful, manly, or irresistible.
5. Insecurity Masking as Confidence
There’s a quiet truth that many men won’t admit: Some men want multiple girlfriends because they don’t actually believe they’re enough.
For them, every new woman is another hit of validation for their nonexistent confidence.
They use the women as a mask for their insecurity.
A man who believes he is not good enough will feel every fiber of his failing ego when a new woman says, “I like you.”
While one woman is complaining about his lackadaisical attitude, 2 more women are affirming him.
This is why you see men who can’t handle rejection from one woman ask out 3 more women in “compensation.”
It is not because they’re so in love, but it is for them to feel seen and noticed.
6. He Has Made It A Lifestyle
Not every man who dates multiple women is dishonest.
Some practice what they call ethical non-monogamy, where everyone involved knows and consents.
And that’s fine, as long as it’s honest.
I know of a man who tells his girlfriend about the next lady he is about to woo, and he also tells the “incoming lady” about the ones he currently has.
This wasn’t a problem for everyone who was in on his lifestyle and choice.
It will only be a problem if he is with a woman who doesn’t share this ideal, and he lies to cover that up.
If a man wants multiple girlfriends, it’s rarely about you.
It’s about where he is emotionally.
It’s easy to internalize it, and to think you weren’t enough, or that if you’d loved him better, he wouldn’t need anyone else. But that’s not how it works.
You can be soft, patient, loyal, beautiful, and he can still crave something else.
Don’t waste energy trying to outshine other women.
Instead, choose the kind of love that doesn’t require competition if that is what you desire.