There is a difference between a man who loves you and a man who understands that loving you badly can cost him you.
Men lose women they love every day through carelessness.
They assume she will always be there no matter what.
See, a woman can love you so much and still reach her limit, and a man who doesn’t want to lose a woman will not let this happen.
That is why he will never be casual about these 5 things:
A Man Who Doesn’t Want to Lose You Will Never Be Casual About These 5 Things
1. The problems you keep bringing up
Just last week, I was talking with my husband about how I believe stubbornness is one of the biggest destroyers of marriages.
And interestingly, the Bible talks about this too.
When Jesus was asked about divorce, He explained that divorce was permitted because of the hardness of people’s hearts, adding that “it was not this way from the beginning.”
That phrase, hardness of heart, says a lot.
Because think about it.
Your woman has told you something hurts her.
She tells you again.
And again. And again.
Yet instead of thinking, “This thing is hurting the woman I love. What can I do differently?” you become determined to prove why you shouldn’t have to change.
Why?
If you don’t want to lose her, why would you be casual about something she keeps telling you is hurting your relationship?
2. The boundaries around other women
It’s funny how some men think that as long as you didn’t catch them on top of another woman, they haven’t crossed any boundary.
Cheating is not the only way to disrespect your relationship.
There are things a man can do with another woman that may never involve any touching, but they are still inappropriate when you’re in a committed relationship.
And a man who doesn’t want to lose you understands this.
Some things are just common sense.
If you’re constantly texting a woman your partner is uncomfortable with, deleting messages, flirting and calling it “banter,” enjoying attention you know has romantic undertones, or building a connection you would be uncomfortable with your woman seeing, you already know you’re playing with fire.
When something is precious to you, you become careful with it.
3. What happens after he hurts you
No matter how amazing a man is, he’s not going to be a sweetheart all the time.
Sometimes he’s going to hurt you and behave in a way that makes you look at him and think, Where did I meet this man? God, did I marry the wrong person?
Welcome to loving another human being.
So the question isn’t whether a man will ever hurt you.
The question is what he does after he hurts you.
And I’m not talking about a man who deliberately chooses to hurt you.
For instance, I don’t like when people describe cheating as a “mistake.”
Forgetting to buy the milk is a mistake.
Cheating involves choices.
You don’t accidentally find yourself maintaining a secret relationship with another woman and suddenly wonder how you got there.
I’m talking about the normal hurts that come with two imperfect people loving each other.
When a man who doesn’t want to lose you realizes he has hurt you, he cares about repairing the damage.
He doesn’t immediately turn your pain into a courtroom where his only goal is to prove that he is innocent.
A good apology should eventually produce different behavior.
This is where you can tell the difference between a man who wants the argument to end and a man who doesn’t want to lose you.
The first man apologizes so you’ll stop talking.
The second man wants to understand what happened so he doesn’t keep creating the same wound.
4. Whether you still feel loved by him
Affection has become a luxury in some relationships.
Some men think that because they married you, provide for the family, come home every night, and haven’t asked for a divorce, you should know they love you.
Love is not something you deposit into a woman’s account on your wedding day and expect her to keep withdrawing from it for the next forty years.
It needs expression.
You can love someone in your heart and still make them feel unloved by the way you treat them.
A man who doesn’t want to lose you pays attention to whether you still feel loved by him.
Lack of affection is what makes a woman married and lonely.
5. How his actions affect your trust in him
One of the greatest ironies about love is that you can love someone and still not trust them.
But how do you enjoy loving someone when you don’t feel secure with them?
I believe trust is one of the things that makes love enjoyable.
When you trust someone, you can relax into the relationship.
You don’t have to become an unpaid detective. You can just love.
It’s so beautiful to be able to think, My man wouldn’t do that to me.
No, you’re not naive; you’ve only watched his character long enough to know that he values what you have together.
That’s peace, and peace in a relationship is priceless.
A man who doesn’t want to lose you is careful with your trust.
He carries it like an egg because trust is one of those things that can take years to build and one stupid decision to crack.
And yes, unlike an actual egg, broken trust can sometimes be rebuilt, but rebuilding it is hard work.
Love may keep you attached to someone, but trust is what allows you to enjoy loving them without constantly fearing what they might do to you.
Nobody should have to live every day terrified of losing their partner.
That’s not love, but anxiety.
But then, there is a healthy kind of awareness that comes with valuing something precious.
You don’t throw your phone around carelessly when you just bought it, or leave your passport lying around when you’re traveling.
You don’t treat something valuable as if it can be easily replaced.
So why should the person you claim to love receive less care?
A man who doesn’t want to lose you won’t be perfect.
There will be days when you both need to calm down and remember why you chose each other in the first place.
But underneath all that imperfection, there will be care.
One of the saddest ways to lose a good woman is to keep treating her like she is impossible to lose until she finally proves you wrong.