Amidst sobbing, she asked, “Why does my relationship keep failing?” and “Why do I have to love so much and end up heartbroken?”
It was a sober moment for me.
I held her hands and kept assuring her that all would be well.
As I sat with her, it struck me that this is the same question that some people have in their hearts.
They can’t understand why they are so in love this minute, and then everything turns sour the next minute.
Whew! It’s not a good experience at all.
To be candid, many people in relationships desire that it works.
But painfully, not all of them work.
Sometimes, you get into a relationship today, and everything is rosy. You anticipate a “forever love with my bae”.
And the next minute, things turn sour, and you both part ways.
You think that would be the end, but it happens repeatedly.
So, let’s talk about why your relationships keep failing.
Are there things you’re doing that you shouldn’t?
Or are there things you should be doing but you aren’t?
Let’s look at some probable reasons why your relationship keeps failing.
9 Reasons Your Relationship Keeps Failing
1. Trust issues
Trust is an integral part of a healthy relationship.
When lovers trust each other, it strengthens the bond of love.
When you trust your partner, you feel safe with them.
It helps you to be vulnerable.
Lack of trust ruins relationships.
It makes lovers suspicious of each other.
You could be experiencing failed relationships because you lack trust in your relationship.
Some people have trust issues.
They find it difficult to believe what their partner tells them.
They sometimes find themselves in this situation because of their past experiences.
For example, if an individual has been with someone who betrayed their trust in the past, she might find it difficult to trust again.
Do you find it difficult to trust people?
Or are you doing things that make your lover lose trust in you?
You may need to look within and see if the trust issue has been the problem.
If this is the case, you may need to speak to a counselor who can help you through this.
2. Communication challenge.
Lovers should communicate.
They should be able to talk about anything and everything.
When you talk with each other, it allows you both to know each other at a deeper level.
Your bond grows more robust.
Communication has a way of stirring passion for each other.
When lovers don’t have conversations, how will their love grow?
Some people are full of excuses when it comes to having conversations with their partners.
They are either tired or not in the mood.
When communication is poor, the love relationship will take a downward slope.
How often do you talk?
What do you both talk about?
What are your communication skills like?
Do you know how to hold great conversations?
Assess your relationships and see if your communication skills are good.
This will help you know the root cause of the issue.
If your communication has been poor, you may need to learn the art of communication.
Work on being a better conversationalist.
It would help your next relationship.
3. Infidelity
Cheating is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
While to some, it is not a deal breaker.
To some others, it is.
The one who’s cheated on will be heartbroken upon such a realization.
If you’ve been unfaithful to your partner, it could be the reason why your relationship has been failing.
And, of course, you sure know that an emotional affair is also a form of cheating.
Being in a relationship and having deep and erotic conversations with the opposite sex is cheating.
If this is the case with you, you may need to have an honest conversation with yourself and make the necessary adjustments.
No one will be happy to see the one they love having someone else they are giving their attention to.
We are all incapable of rivalry.
4. Loss of attraction
When love is at its peak, the attraction is strong.
The thought of your beloved fills your heart.
Their beautiful voice melts your heart.
At the mention of “I love you”, you’re swept off your feet.
You can’t get enough of each other.
Nothing else matters.
Yeah! Love is beautiful.
But over time, attraction can dwindle.
Like the fire that has lost its oil, the fire of attraction will start to reduce.
This is why beyond the feelings, maintaining attraction is a lot of work.
Both parties have to work to sustain the attraction they had at first.
Loss of attraction has made lovers lose love for one another.
They discover that they are becoming more like strangers.
If this has been your experience with your previous relationships,
It is necessary to make up your mind that love is work.
Maintaining love and attraction is hard work.
5. Lack of compromise
A love relationship connects two people with different ideologies and perspectives about issues.
It is normal.
While there are essential values that shouldn’t be compromised,
Healthy compromises are expected in relationships.
When people are set in their ways and not ready to compromise, this may not help their relationships.
This is because they will keep disagreeing and unable to conclude on essential matters.
If this is what has been causing issues in your previous relationship,
It will help you to learn that healthy compromises are very okay.
Insisting on having things done your way won’t help.
Embracing and appreciating each other’s differences is critical to having a great relationship.
6. Financial issues
Money is one of the fuels of a great relationship.
A money problem in a relationship, if not fixed very fast, could strain the relationship.
Reckless spending habits, debts, and extravagant lifestyles are some of the financial issues that cause problems.
For example, if you’re one given to impulse buying, whatever you fancy, you must buy,
Or you’re given to taking loans even for unnecessary things,
If it doesn’t sit well with your partner, it could cause issues.
The financial plan and discipline are excellent.
Make a budget based on your earnings.
Cut down on your expenses.
7. Incompatible values
Values are an essential factor to consider when making choices.
When values align, you both can operate on the same pedestal.
You have a similar outlook on life.
When your goals are compatible, it helps you both to go further together.
But when the reverse is the case, it creates tension between you.
Take time to analyze your values,
And watch out for similar values in the next person you’ll meet.
8. Abuse
Experiencing emotional or physical abuse is not a good one.
It damages one.
If your partner is an abuser, you know he doesn’t have your best interest.
And no, it’s not because of what you did but who they are.
If this has been your relationship experience, you may need therapy.
This will help you heal and overcome the trauma.
9. Lack of personal growth.
This is one aspect people in relationships overlook.
We live in an ever-changing world, and to be able to survive, growth is essential.
When people refuse to invest in self-development, they become stunted, which plays a role in their relationships.
For example, if your partner is developing himself by investing in courses, books, and pieces of training, but you are doing none of those,
He could get tired and want out.
It’s good to see that you pay attention to your growth.
Conclusion
Even though you’ve been experiencing heartbreaks in your relationship, I want to remind you that a good relationship is beautiful.
Take enough time to assess the reason behind your painful experiences.
It is important to note that when relationships fail, it’s not always about the other person only.
It’s possible that we contributed to it somehow.
Make proper adjustments where necessary.
And if need be, speak to a professional counselor or therapist.
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