I was in a relationship with a man for two years, and I’ll tell you that it was beautiful.
But when it comes to faithfulness, it’s not about how beautiful the relationship feels or how amazing your moments are.
Faithfulness is about trust and the assurance that you’re the only one he’s sharing his world with.
Looking back now, I realize that at some point, there were signs.
He was never faithful from the start.
At the end of the relationship, I found out I was the main chick among dozens of side chicks.
Yes, dozens.
Now, you might ask, “Didn’t you notice? Didn’t you see it coming?”
Calm down, I’ll explain all of that in this article.
That’s why you need to read till the end because I’ll be sharing the exact signs I ignored.
The signs that showed he would never be faithful.
I learned the hard way, but maybe my story can help you see what I couldn’t.
If a Man Will Never Be Faithful to You, You’ll Notice These 10 Signs
1. He Has a History of Infidelity
Of course, when you get into a new relationship, you both want to share your stories of what went wrong in your past relationships, mistakes you made, and all of that.
But if a man has a history of infidelity, like not being faithful in his past relationships, he’s very likely to repeat it.
I know we girls like to think we are special, we are different, he won’t cheat on us.
Please tell me exactly how you are different from those women he cheated on.
Because I’m sure of one thing: cheating is rarely ever about the person cheated on, but about the cheater.
Being unfaithful takes a level of audacity.
It’s not a mistake; it’s intentionality.
So if someone once put effort and planning into cheating, that mindset doesn’t just vanish overnight.
So, if you ever find out that he cheated in his past relationships, then there’s a higher chance he might do it again.
2. He Has a Pattern of Lying
When I looked back at my own relationship, I saw a track record of lies I had ignored.
Lies about who certain people were.
“Oh, she’s just a friend,” or “We used to know each other from way back.” 😏
You can’t cheat and not lie.
It’s not possible.
Because you have to either make up stories or twist events.
You have to lie about who you are, where you are, where you are going, your plans and intentions, and all that.
And it starts with little things.
A man who cannot be honest about little things cannot be honest about big things.
3. He’s Extremely Secretive
If a man will not be faithful, he’ll be unnecessarily secretive.
He won’t want you to know what’s going on in his life, where he is, or who he’s with.
It’s even worse in a long-distance relationship because you can’t see him.
You’ll have to depend on phone communication.
And since cheating is a million times easier in today’s world of constant internet connectivity, don’t be surprised if he guards his phone like it’s a national treasure.
Because he knows that if you look through his phone, it’s overrrrr.
4. He Avoids Commitment or Future Talk
Men know what they want.
When a man truly wants you, he doesn’t waste your time.
Even if he’s not financially stable yet, he’ll let you know his plans to be, and how he can’t afford to lose you.
It’s not just mere talk; he’s serious about it when both of you talk about the kind of marriage you want to have, the number of kids, where you want to live, etc.
Even you can tell his heart is all in with you.
A man who’s juggling multiple women can’t talk about the future because he’s too busy managing his lies.
He will constantly avoid the “What are we?” conversation or shut down any talk about the future.
Another strange thing is that he might actually marry you, but he still won’t be faithful.
So, marriage doesn’t change a thing.
This is the part where I pray, ”God have mercy!” 😩
5. He Lacks Self-Control in Other Areas
If you’ve ever heard that cheating is not really about sex, but self-control, please believe it.
It takes self-control to not engage in inappropriate chats, it takes self-control to turn down advances…
You need self-control to say ”no” when every part of your body is screaming ”yes.”
So, unfaithfulness doesn’t start with cheating; it begins with a lack of control, not only when it comes to sex, but in other areas as well.
Watch how he lives his life.
Look at the way he handles his money and business matters.
Is he trustworthy with other things?
How does he handle people?
What does commitment and integrity mean to him?
If he’s reckless in other areas, he’ll be reckless in love too.
A man who can’t discipline himself in small things won’t suddenly develop discipline when it comes to fidelity.
6. He Compares You to Other Women
I remember how my ex would constantly compare me to his exes or even to random women.
He’d say things like, “My ex used to dress in bla bla bla. I like this thing that she does….”
And I’ll be thinking ”She’s an ex for a reason. If you so like her, you should have stayed with her.”
A faithful man doesn’t make you feel like you’re in competition.
He sees you as enough.
This doesn’t mean he wouldn’t share his mind with you on how you can improve yourself.
But when a man constantly compares, it’s a sign his eyes are still outside, and his view (you) will never satisfy him.
7. He Makes You Feel Like You’re Overreacting
Another sign that a man will never be faithful is that whenever you ask him for clarity or accountability, suddenly, you’re too much.
When you question something suspicious, and he makes you feel stupid for asking or even accuses you of being insecure, you are in trouble.
Because cheaters are master manipulators.
They gaslight you and make you doubt reality so they won’t be caught.
A faithful man will calm your fears and reassure you, not make you feel crazy for having them.
8. He’s Insecure and Always Accuses You
If there is one thing I’ve learned about an unfaithful man, it is that he will often project his guilt onto you.
He’ll start accusing you of what he’s doing, calling you unfaithful, asking who you’re texting, and getting jealous unnecessarily.
He does this because he thinks you’re like him.
If you constantly have to prove your loyalty to him, he’s probably the one being unfaithful.
9. He Needs Validation from Other Women
I’ll never forget this.
When I found out my ex was cheating and confronted him, after all of the remorse and trying to win my attention back, he casually said,
“I just enjoy the attention I get from the other girls.”
He said he didn’t get that kind of validation while growing up, so he craved it from women.
That day, I knew this was someone who would always need outside validation.
Because the moment another woman praises him more than I do, he’ll drift.
If a man constantly seeks attention from other women, he’ll never be content with one.
10. Your Instincts Tell You
Like I said earlier, my relationship felt perfect and beautiful because I didn’t see any of these signs until later on; however, something felt off within me most of the time.
They’ll act so perfectly, and you may not even see all of these signs, especially if he knows how to play his game.
Even if everything looks perfect, listen to your instincts.
As women, our intuition is so strong, and when we start feeling that something is not right, 90% of the time, it’s true.
If you see these signs in your man, don’t ignore them, except if infidelity is not a big deal to you.
It is a big deal to me.
I don’t want to go into marriage weeping into my pillow every night.
What about you?